2 years since we brought home our little girl!

Well, it's been 2 years exactly since we brought home our little girl. She has filled our life with every emotional possible. She is everything that I could ever want in a child, well minus the 2 year old tantrum phase... lol...

So, I will leave you with a few pictures of our beautiful princess, on the 2 year anniversary of her arrival!

What it's like to do foster care

I was contacted via email about my adventures in fostering and felt it was a good idea to post here for the world to see, since this is my foster/adoption blog!

" I was wondering if you could give me info on foster care adoption? What kind of specifics you were able to give, ages of placements, age at adoption, how many have you had total/how many became available for adoption, were you the first choice for adoption or did you have to fight it?"


Well, I will start by saying that I think everyone has it in them to foster. I hear people all of the time say that they couldn't do it, but the reality is that they could, they are just fearful of getting hurt in the process.

When it comes to fostering, you must put your fears of a broken heart aside. You need to make sure that you are able to give 100% of yourself to these children whether they are going to stay with you or not. They deserve to have a foster parent who is supportive and can help guide them through such a rough journey in their life and you can only do that if you truely LOVE the children in your home.

I will not sugar coat anything, it is a journey of up's and down's. Some days are really good, some - not so great. You can choose to move forward from the bad days or stay in the misery they create. It is not until you really believe in the system that you can let the small stuff go and concertrate on keeping the little ones safe.

With that being said, We brought Gabriella home at 8 weeks 1 day old. She was a blessing from the beginning. This fragile baby had been through so much at such a young age that our hearts melted immediatly. We tried to keep our hearts guarded, but it was impossible. The more we watched this child grow, the more we felt the bond grow and the more we ached for her to become part of our family.

Her birth mother would improve from time to time only to get lost in the world she was living in. Each time she would improve a part of my heart would lose hope of calling this little girl my forever daughter. When times would get bad for her it was apparent because she would miss visits with her daughter, I couldn't help but find myself happy for our family. I felt like I was becoming a bad person, gloating in her misery. I pondered my life without her and talked myself into the possible reality that my little girl might go back to her birth family. I did this to keep sane through it all. I couldn't allow myself to build up this happiness only to let it crush me in the end. I continuously crushed myself in my own thoughts to prevent such a hard blow.

As time progressed and Gabriella's birth father was located( 4 months after placement), we were faced with another challenge. He would have rights to this child and could take her home immediatly. We said our goodbyes to this child we ached to call our own. It was an emotional time but we had talked ourselves into believing that she had a plan in life, and although we were a part of it for a short time, she was meant to stay with her biological family.

The meeting with her birth father went rather well. He was an older man (55), single, and he felt he was in no situation to raise a child. He asked us to keep this precious little girl and adopt her. We agree'd to contact with him. We treat him like a friend of the family and he comes over to hang out often. It has really worked out for us all and we hope it can continue as long as it is in the best interest of our daughter.

Her case moved rather quickly because the biological mother had 2 other children removed previously and adopted out. They decided not to offer the mother services to get her child back. Termination of Parental Rights (which free's the child for adoption) occured in November 2007 and her adoption finalized September, 2008.

Aside from her birth father, I was the first choice for adoption. They are required to contact birth family to see if they are interested. They're also required to contact her sibling's adoptive home to keep siblings together as well. I'm not sure if they did that or not. I have tried to get ahold of the siblings adoptive family and the state rejects my attempts because of confidential information. I've even asked for my name and phone number to be sent to them, and they have declined.


Our children so far:

Gabriella placed 8 weeks 1 day Adopted 19 months old
Garrett placed 16 months old Adopted 37 months old
J placed 8 years old reunited 3 months later
R placed 4 years old reunited 9 months later
A placed 2 years old reunited 9 months later
J placed 6 months old reunited 9 months later
A placed 3 years old currently fostering
D placed 2 years old currently fostering
N placed 1 years old currently fostering

Now that our adoptions have finalized and we have what I call our "core" family, we are striving to make a difference in families who need help getting back on their feet. Through our journey we have found a passion for reuniting families back together after hard times. It is something that I hope to do for many years to come.

I find that when I am doing foster care for the purpose of fostering, my mind doesn't wonder as much as it does when I am constantly pondering whether or not they are going to stay here with us forever. I enjoy not stressing about court dates or talking to social workers about what the biological parents are and aren't doing.

Had I not adopted the first two children that were placed with us, I probably would have lost some of my drive to continue, but because they stayed with us, it just shows me that this is where my life was supposed to be at this exact moment in time.

In just a few short months we will be saying goodbye to our sibling set that we have right now. A,D,&N but it's not the end of the world, it's just the beginning for them with a new life with their family. For us, it's a beginning of a new journey, taking in some other children who need a home for a short while. If the right child came to our home and needed a forever home, we would jump on the opportunity to adopt him/her. Only time will tell what our future holds.

Shopping turned into picture time!

I was shopping at babiesrus and the photo lady came around and asked if we wanted to get a free 5X7. Normally you think it's a scam of some sort, that a cost will arise somewhere.

Well, they are hoping that you just LOVE the pictures that you'll fork out some money on them anyways. AND it works!

Here are he pictures that we had taken yesterday. They turned out so cute!

MOM's Tattoo touched up :)

Some of you may know that my mom had been diagnosised with cancer and had been battling it for the past 9 months. She became weaker after every chemo adventure and had finally just had enough of it. Her last chemo treatment was a few weeks ago and she is still feeling the effects of the poison they put inside her body.

Well, the good news came that she is now cancer free and hopefully will stay that way. There are some other problems in relation to other organs in her body, but nothing as serious as cancer.

Still, through it all, it has been a rough time for her. Nothing can prepare you for the diagnosis of cancer and the effects it will have on your body both physically and emotionally.

I got this tattoo to symbolize my mother. She has been my best friend and the one person I SWORE I was never going to be like when I was a child. lol... On most days I hear myself saying things to my children and I am reminded, that I am my mother!

This tattoo was done back in September 2008 but needed to be touched up and did that this month. Here's to always remembering what my mother went through and knowing it will make her the changed women she is yet to become.

Adoption Tattoo

I had wanted to get an adoption tattoo for quite some time and was just waiting for the right time. After Gabriella's adoption I still didn't feel complete until Garrett's adoption had finalized. It was a huge sigh of relief when it was all said and done and it was time to celebrate!

This tattoo symbolizes G for Garrett, the adoption symbol (The heart of LOVE, and the triangle for the child, adoptive parents, and biological parents), and of course a G for Gabriella.

This tattoo means so much to me. It is something that I look at everyday that reminds me how I got to this wonderful place in my life. Through adoption we were able to build the family we thought we would never have. It has been such a blessing from the moment we started this journey and it will never be forgotten. I hope my children will see what a blessing it was to us all.

I also got my other arm tattoo'd with the fairy and Garrett similar to Gabriella's tattoo on my arm. Here are pictures of both of them.

Disneyland 2009

Yep, we did it again! We took a quick trip down to L.A. area and went to Disneyland. It was nice just taking our 2 little ones this time. We were able to enjoy one on one time with the little ones and give them a wonderful timeless Disneyland trip.
Here are some pictures from our fun day!

HAPPY VALENTINES DAY!!!

My niece and nephew came to visit for Vday so we got the kids pictures taken together for the first time!

Garrett's Adoption Day

It's offical! Garrett Michael is now a part of our forever family.

Garrett came to us May 14, 2007. I remember the day like it was yesterday.

He was our second foster child coming to our home for a perm placement. His birth mother was young and didn't have the family guidance that is needed while raising a child so young. She decided she wanted to be a teen instead of a mother. It was hard watching the lack of interest, but it didn't stop us from loving this little boy and giving him what was lacking from his biological family.

We went through months of run around with the system. His mother moved from county to county to extend her time to get her son back. In the end, it wasn't enough. One month after termination of parental rights for Garrett his biological brother was born. He was placed with his great aunt and has been living with her since he was taken away from his mother at birth.

So, here we are, just a formality of the process. He is our son now and forever and we are so greatful for that.

I will end with some pictures of our handsome little boy on his special day!

Gabriella Julieann

As I sit here and watch my daughter I see the innocence in her being. The pure love that I have for her and the excitement in her eyes as she watches her favorite movie.

Tomorrow my baby girl turns 2. Although I feel a sense of accomplishment for raising my beautiful little girl, I'm also sad that these past two years are now a distant memory.

I feel ripped off that I had to fight for her those first 18 months and wish it had been different.

My little girl will always, be my little girl, eventhough she will be older than our next child. She is our first baby and will always hold a place in my heart for that.

I am convinced that Gabriella was sent by God to be our child. I never knew that such a deep love was possible until I held her in my arms.

Happy Birthday to my beautiful little girl!

5 minutes for Mom

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Sharing some pictures of Garrett!

Adoption Announcments

When I looked into purchasing my adoption announcements I searched long and hard. I realized that these announcements would never be as important to the person making them as they were to me and my family. I looked up adoption sayings in hopes to determine the perfect quote for our announcements. I found myself going in circles viewing the "typical" layouts for announcements on most websites. When I found Alicia's website I was amazed at the different types of layouts and the personal look that I saw.


The moment that our court date was made for adoptive finalization I contacted Alicia. We didn't have much time to get them completed and I was worried that it was too late. She responded immediatly and assured me that she would do everything in her power to get the announcements to me on time. Alicia sent me a preview shortly after I sent her the pictures and she made the most beautiful announcements. We changed wording a few times and scripts a few times but for the most part it was EXACTLY what I had invisions when I thought about my daughters announcements.


Through all of the changes, she worked with me and never made me feel like I was annoying her or driving her crazy because I was unsure. I trusted her, a person I had never met, because her abilities were far beyond what I could do myself. My intial assumptions of never finding someone who put their entire heart into these announcements was wrong. Alicia gave me every ounce care on the announcements AND she provoked conversation about our experiences through foster care and into adoption. She expressed interest in the process we took and was happy for us becoming a forever family.


Our announcements received many compliments. We sent them to all of our daughters social workers and adoption workers. The workers told us how much of a hit the announcements were when they showed them around in their office. Another worker told us they were the most amazing announcements they have ever been sent. My daughter was worth having the most amazing announcements and I couldn't wait for Alicia to make some for our son's adoption.


Because of the wonderful announcements and excellent customer service we have recently been in contact with Alicia for completion of our son's adoption announcments. These are more than just an announcement, they mark a vey special day in our lives. A day that we are offically a "forever family". We have posted our announcement in our home for viewing and know that our children will cherish such a beautiful piece of work.


"We didn't give you the gift of life, Life gave us the gift of you!"




Check her out...

Alicia Wennstrom
Owner & Artist, The First Glimpse
http://www.thefirstglimpse.com/

thefirstglimpseannouncements.blogspot.com/

Foster mommie turned Adoptive mommie

March 28, 2007 Chris and I welcomed home our little girl. She was the most precious thing to us. Although I didn' t birth her, I felt a connection with her immediatly. I still remember the day as if it had happened yesterday.

At 8 weeks and 1 day old she weighted just shy of 8 pounds. She was the gift we had prayed for. For months we watched as her biological mother made attempts to do better for herself only to fail over and over again. We secretly wanted this baby to stay with us, but always used the caution statement that we "didn't know what was going to happen but would be happy either way". Every time I said that, my heart lost a little bit of hope. Who was I kidding, this child had stolen my heart, no matter how much I had guarded it.

When this little girl was 6 months old they had located her birth father. We said our goodbyes to her and were prepared to send her away. As we went to this meeting with him I was scared but tried to suck it up because this was just the "name of the game". I asked God to do what was best for this baby. I knew he had a plan for her, and I wanted his will to be done no matter how it made me feel. This was the first time I had EVER given the power to him. It was hard for me to give it up and not take it back when I started to feel sorry for myself, but I didn't , and I believe for that, I was given the most valuable gift... a child.

During our meeting, the biological father, asked my husband and I to adopt this beautiful little girl. This was beyond what we had imagined for her future. We were honored to be chosen by God to parent this child. He was faithful to us when we believed in him most.

We knew at that point we were not out of the woods but we'd have to make it to finalization before it was 100% final. As termination of parental rights were read by the judge, I sat next to this man as he cried. He was once a "father" biologically to this child, now a "friend of the family". He didn't cry in anger or pain, but rather in joy, that this child would have the best life possible with a mother and father who loved her more than anything in this world. He felt comforted that this little girl would be taken care of and given all of the gifts in life that new parents dream of.

9 months later the adoption for our daughter, Gabriella Julieann, was offical as we sat in court with our closest family and friends.

Through the infertility treatments, unsucessful attempts at pregnancy, & losses I thought I had felt every type of pain that could be felt. I wished it on no one and the roller coaster was mind blowing. I figured fostering and adopting was the "easy way" off of that roller coaster. I was mistaken when I thought that.

As a foster parent you are on a different type of roller coaster. A roller coaster where you are dealing with a precious life and sometimes biological parents who have done some HORRIBLE things to these little ones.

There are questions that you ask....

Q. "There's a chance you're going to give this baby back to a mother who did ______ to there child?"

A. "They have rights to there child."


Q. "Am I going to be able to adopt this child?"

A. "I've seen a case like this before, and this child is 99.9% adoptable."
" Oh wait, the judge is giving the biological mom 6 more months of services, so I don't know."
" Mom isn't showing to visits, so she's definatly not going to be getting this baby back."
" Oh wait, mom just started doing visits again, we'll see what happens."
"Oh wait, there is family who wants this child, we might be moving the child to family."
"Oh wait, family isn't approved."

Q. "What has this child been through, what type of abuse, neglect?"

A. "That is confidential information."


Your heart falls madly in love with this child and you want to do what is best for them, but the rights to these children are still attached to the biological parents who SOMETIMES don't have the best interest of the child.

You pray that the information to the judge is accurate (on both sides) and that by reuniting this child or adopting this child is what is in the best interest of the child.

You sit back as the court system plays "God" to these children. Deciding what there future will hold for them.

These past few years I have seen parents who don't show to visits and express no intentions of doing better for themselves and there children AND I have seen parents who have worked hard to do everything in there power to get there children back. My heart goes out to both types of biological parents in the foster system. I am honored to be a part of reuniting a family back together and I am also honored at being chosen as an adoptive home for my children.

My life has changed for the better these past few years. There have been a few bumps along the way, but I have made it through and have my children to show for it. I wouldn't have it any other way.

At the age of 25 I have finally found my calling in life. I believe I was put on this earth to be a foster mother. To help families reunite and to be a forever home to those little ones who couldn't.


Some highlights of what the year 2009 will bring to our foster/adoptive family......

In April-June we will be watching a family reunite together as our sibling set of 3, A, D, & N, should be returning home.

In March we will enter into our 3rd year of fostering. I am looking foward to helping families and establishing my family.

Febuary will be the month we are adopting our son, Garrett Michael.

January we will be having a big bday bash for our two children.

Well here I am...

So I figured since my friends have blogs it was time to get into the "in" thing.

I am a wife to Chris. A daughter to my best friend. I have been called mommie by 9 children. I'm an adoptive mother of Gabriella and soon to be an adoptive mother to Garrett.

Life isn't what I had planned years ago, but it sure has been an adventure to get to where I am today. I am looking forward to many more years to come doing the foster thing. I hope one day to adopt another little one. MAYBE even two!

I'm not sure if I'd rather try to have a biological child or not. Being a foster & adoptive mother is all I know. I guess I would have to try pushing out a baby to see which I prefer but by watching my friends have there children, I think adoption was the way to go!!! lol...

So, here's to a new year and new beginnings! Welcome 2009.